


Don't Forget To Remember Me

by fangs_for_the_memories



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Hollstein - Freeform, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-30
Packaged: 2018-03-08 15:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3213614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangs_for_the_memories/pseuds/fangs_for_the_memories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a run-in with a witch, Carmilla returns missing memories from the past fifteen years -- including memories of Laura.  As Laura struggles to piece together what happened to Carmilla, Carmilla finds herself slowly falling for this girl from her future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who Are You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura waits for Carmilla to wake up, only to find out the extent of their latest problem.

“Come on, you stupid vampire,” Laura grumbled quietly. “Wake up, already.”

She had a glass of blood ready, routinely pouring it back into the pitcher they kept in their apartment fridge and refreshing the cup.  She had been doing this for a few hours.

Carmilla made no movements and there was minimal indication she was alive, which added to Laura’s worry.  She had already tried pouring the blood into the vampire’s mouth, but there was no effect.

Danny, Lafontaine, Perry, and Kirsch sat out in the living room on the couches, taking turns keeping Laura company.

“This isn’t your fault,” Danny whispered, placing a comforting hand on Laura’s shoulder.

“I know it’s not,” Laura replied. “It’s _this_ idiot’s fault.  What was she _thinking_? She could’ve gotten herself killed.”

“And you should be grateful she didn’t,” Danny pressed. “I’m sure she was just trying to stop you from getting hurt.”

Laura gave an exasperated sigh. “That’s not her decision to make. And it was a stupid decision. Who the hell goes after an evil witch looking for immortality on their own?”

“Your idiot vampire girlfriend,” Danny answered, “that’s who.”  She squeezed the other girl’s shoulder.

 

As if on cue, the vampire on the bed stirred and mumbled something.

“Carm?”  In spite of all of her griping, Laura was up in an instant from her bedside chair, placing a hand on Carmilla’s arm.  “Carm, can you hear me?”

Carmilla’s eyes flew open and she slapped Laura’s hand away.  “What the hell?”

Laura pouted at the sudden hostility but handed Carmilla the cup of blood.

The vampire eyed the cup carefully. “What the hell is this?” Her eyes wandered to Laura’s face. “Who the hell are you?”


	2. Still Carmilla

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura's friends try to calm her down about her current situation. Laura struggles to connect with Carmilla.

“W-What?”

Carmilla sat up and regarded the two girls in front of her warily.  “Who are you guys?” she asked, clearly annoyed that she was repeating herself.

Laura just blinked at her.

Danny decided to speak instead. “Do you know where you are?”

“No.”

“Do you know what your name is?”

Carmilla hesitated, clearly not sure which name she should give, or if she should give one at all.

Laura finally snapped herself out of her stupor. “Do you know that your name is Carmilla?”

Carmilla nodded slowly.

“Do you know what year it is?”

“It’s 2001,” she answered.

Laura and Danny looked at each other as Kirsch, LaFontaine, and Perry entered the room.

“Wow, sleepyhead’s awake,” LaFontaine remarked, grinning.

“How many of you are there?”  Carmilla demanded.

Perry quirked an eyebrow.  “Huh?”

“Carmilla thinks it’s 2001,” Danny explained. “She doesn’t know who any of us are.”

 

Carmilla shook her head.  “What the hell are you on about?”

“Carm, hon, it’s 2016,” Laura replied gently. “My name is Laura Hollis. You’re in the apartment you and I rent out, just a little bit outside the Silas campus.”

Carmilla narrowed her eyes at her. “I don’t even know where to start with all these lies.”  She scoffed. “Even if it _was_ 2016, why wouldn’t I remember the past fifteen years? And why would I rent out an apartment with _you_?  Hell, if it’s 2016, I wouldn’t even be anywhere near this damn place, especially since when it’s not…”  Her voice trailed off.

“Since it’s not a year when you have to get sacrifices for your mother?”  Laura finished, biting her lip.

Carmilla’s eyes widened, but she said nothing else.

“Look, just drink the blood in that cup first, you’ll feel better, okay?”  Laura sighed when Carmilla continued sitting, trying to surmise if she was in danger in her current surroundings.  “Carm, I promise, you’re safe.”

She pulled out her phone –– slowly, as the vampire watched her every movement carefully –– and showed her the date on the lock screen.  LaFontaine went to the living room to fetch a newspaper to show Carmilla the date there, as well. Perry managed to find the lease saying that the two were currently renting out the apartment.

“As for the reason why we’re on campus when it’s been two years since the last sacrifice, it’s because the group of us managed to… get rid of your mother and the thing she was feeding those girls to.”

 

Carmilla sat in silence for a little while, the scowl never leaving her face.

“Carm, I know this is a lot to process. But please, just process _while_ you drink the blood?”  Laura didn’t bother to wait for a response as she ushered everyone out of the room.

“Well, this sucks,” Kirsch commented when they were all in the living room.  “Carm-sexy is back to being Carm-droopy.”

Danny rolled her eyes.  “‘Sucks’ is an understatement.  What are we going to do?”

Laura closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. “We need to figure out why her memory went missing.”

“How are we going to do that?” Perry fretted. “The only one who knows what happened is Carmilla, and she can’t remember anything!”

Laura shrugged and took a deep breath to try to calm herself down.  Normally, that would be Carmilla’s job, but obviously that wasn’t an option right now.

“It’ll be okay, Laur,” LaFontaine said as Danny walked over and gave Laura a small hug.  “Look, we know the witch escaped from her coven when they wouldn’t help her attain immortality.  Maybe if we find the coven, we can ask them what kind of spells are in their Book of Shadows that would cause memory loss?”

“What’s a Book of Shadows?” Kirsch asked.

LaFontaine looked around and saw a room full of blank faces staring back at them.

“It’s a collection of a spells that a group practicing magic uses.”  They shook their head. “Honestly, didn’t any of you watch _Charmed_?”

 

Laura plopped down on the couch and dropped her face into her hands.  “I can’t do this,” she whimpered.  “I was prepared for dealing with Carmilla being unconscious, not for her to wake up and _not be Carmilla_!”

“Oh, honey,” Perry whispered, sitting down next to her, placing a reassuring hand on her knee.  “She’s still Carmilla...  The woman you fell in love with is still in there, just not at the surface, that’s all.”

“How about we leave you two alone?” LaFontaine suggested.  “I’m sure us being here is cramping your style.”

Laura shrugged again.

Danny knelt down in front of the small girl. “Hollis, you can do this.” She gave her a smile. “Just keep her fed so she doesn’t eat you.”

Laura returned a smile.  “Thanks, guys.”

“We’ll let you know if we find anything out. Don’t worry about it. Just deal with Carmilla,” Perry offered with a warm grin.

Laura saw them all out, giving each of them a hug.

 

Laura inhaled deeply before walking back into the room. Carmilla had drank some of the blood and was now standing at the window, looking out at the night sky.

“How are you feeling?  I made sure we got your favorite blood type.”

Carmilla turned to face her, narrowing her eyes. “All blood types taste the same, you idiot,” she growled.

Laura gave a nervous laugh.  “Oh, I know, it was just an inside jo–– well, I guess now it’s just a joke with myself.”  She sat down on the foot of the bed.

“Why are we renting out an apartment together?” Carmilla asked, the harshness in her voice remaining.

Laura blinked at her in confusion. “Uhm… t-to live in…?”

Carmilla rolled her eyes.  “I meant why are _we_ renting out an apartment together?”

“Oh!” Laura said, realizing what Carmilla meant. “We’re together. Or, err, like, _together_ -together.  We’re dating.  We’ve been dating for the past year or so.”

Carmilla raised an eyebrow.  “Have we, now?”  She scoffed. “And how did I end up so lucky?” Sarcasm dripped off each word.

“Hey!” Laura shouted, offended. “I am quite the _catch_ , okay, Miss Amnesiac Vampire?” She crossed her arms. “Your mother sent you to bring me in as a sacrifice or whatever and you fell in love with me.”

Carmilla let out a mean-spirited laugh. “Whatever you say, cutie.”

 

“You’re such an ass,” Laura huffed.

“That bunched up little face you make when you're angry is hilarious, sweetie.”

“Not the first time I’ve heard that,” Laura fired back.

She flopped down on her back and stared at the vampire, who had returned to staring out the window.

“Well obviously we’re not sharing the damn bed tonight. And since it’s Sunday night and I have class in the morning and you don’t, I’ll just sleep outside on the couch.” When there was no response, Laura stood up and went to leave.  “There’s more blood in a pitcher in the fridge, the bathroom is down the hall on the right, and the book you’re in the middle of reading is on the nightstand.” She reached into the drawer in the nightstand and pulled out a candle.  “If you need a candle, this is your current favorite scent, it’s sandalwood.” She grabbed her pillow and a blanket and left the room.

 

 

Laura had been asleep for a few hours before she heard something from her bedroom.  Even in her grogginess, she identified the sound as Carmilla having a nightmare. After a year into their relationship, the nightmares came very rarely, but who knew how frequently they came back in 2001?

Laura rolled off the couch and walked into the bedroom. She stood there for a few minutes, watching Carmilla toss and turn and mutter incoherently.  She considered returning to the couch, until she heard some sobs. Carmilla hadn’t cried from a nightmare in months.

Laura slowly made her way over to the vampire’s bedside and gently placed a hand on her shoulder.  “Carm,” she whispered, her heart breaking to see the tear-stained face below her.  “Carm, it’s just a nightma––”

Carmilla bolted up and for a second looked like she might kill whoever had their hand on her.  Laura took an involuntary step back.  “Carm, you’re fine.  It’s 2016 and you’re in an apartment near Silas, and you’re safe. You’re fine, Carm.”

It wasn’t a perfect method, but it had worked okay in the past, with Laura improving on it after every time she woke up to find Carmilla tossing and turning with tears rolling down her face.

 

Laura’s soothing manner appeared to placate the other girl, at least for the time being.  Carmilla murmured her thanks and lied back down, throwing the blanket over herself.

“Are you going to be able to sleep?” Laura asked softly.

“Probably not,” she grumbled.

Laura sighed.  “Okay, sleeping beauty,” she said, grabbing some boots and walking back to the bed with them.  “Put these on.”

Carmilla furrowed her eyebrows. “What?”

Laura rolled her eyes.  “I’m not gonna touch you, but I assume you’re sweating and your heart is racing at the nightmare, right?  And you’re not gonna calm down just lying in a bed, especially since this one is foreign to you.  You deserve better than that.”  She offered a warm smile. “I’m gonna take you somewhere that calms you down.”

Carmilla slowly got out of bed and put on the boots offered to her.

Laura poured some blood in a thermos before they left.

 

It was a warm night, with a gentle breeze.

They walked silently to a park nearby.

“Hmm, trying to seduce me?” Carmilla remarked.

Laura rolled her eyes.  “Please, if I wanted to do that, I would’ve just lit some candles and asked you to waltz.”

Carmilla stopped short.  “What?”

Laura laughed and gave the other girl a playful shove. “I know _all_ your secrets, Mircalla Karnstein,” she teased.  She didn’t miss the smile that Carmilla tried to keep from creeping on her face.

 

Laura led Carmilla to the tallest hill in the park and they sat at the top.  From here, there was no light pollution, and there were a lot of stars visible. Laura handed Carmilla the thermos, and then lied down.

“Join me,” she said, patting the grass next to her.

Carmilla reluctantly did as she was told. She stared up at the night sky, enjoying the breeze, and the stars, and–– _Damn this girl, I really_ am _calming down_.

“How did you know I wouldn’t eat you once we were alone?” Carmilla smirked.

Laura giggled.  “I didn’t,” she admitted.  “But, hello? That’s why I brought the thermos.”

 

Carmilla chanced a look over and saw that the other girl had closed her eyes.  In the moonlight, she almost glowed, and Carmilla found herself wishing away those eyelashes that covered the eyes just so she could look into them. She frowned at herself. She had just met this girl, but somehow she could see why, fifteen years into some strange future, she would allow herself to be with this girl.

If everything she had been told was true, and Mother was really gone, and the sacrifices were no longer holding her down once every twenty years…

If this girl had found out all the darkest parts of her, and accepted them, and accepted her…

If the tiny form next to her always had that fire inside that she saw earlier when Carmilla had insinuated that she was dating out of her league, but could also be so compassionate as to willingly stay alone on a couch so she could have a bed to herself…

Then maybe 2016 wasn’t such a bad time to be in, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're enjoying it so far! Feedback is welcomed, as always.


	3. Buckle Up, Creampuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla gets acclimated to living in 2016, and finds out what the others know about what happened to her memory.

Laura and Carmilla headed back to the apartment when the sun began to rise.  Carmilla went back to bed and Laura curled up on the couch, sleeping for a few hours until she had class.

At 3pm, Carmilla woke up to hear multiple voices in the living room, and a new cup of blood on her nightstand.

She trudged out to find that the group that had piled into the living room, complete with books and devices scattered around the room. The group greeted her warily, as if she might freak out and abandon her cup for tastier pastures. She gave a half-hearted wave and finished off the blood in her glass.  Carmilla found herself slightly disappointed that Laura was nowhere to be found.

“Laura’s still in class,” Danny offered. “She’ll be back soon.”

Carmilla chose to not react to the strangely tall girl. Instead, she snapped, “What the frilly hell are you guys doing here?”

“Research,” LaFontaine answered, “to find out what happened to you.”

Perry rose from her spot on the couch and strode over to Carmilla, who just glared at her.

“It occurs to me none of us introduced ourselves,” she declared.  “I’m Lola Perry. That’s LaFontaine. That’s Danny, and that’s Kirsch!”

Carmilla walked away and placed the empty cup on the kitchen counter.

Perry visibly deflated.  “Why, I forgot how _fun_ Carmilla was when we first met her,” she retorted before returning to the couch.

 

Laura walked into the apartment carrying two boxes of pizza and placed them on the table in the kitchen.  Perhaps picking up on the awkward silence she’d found herself in, she looked across the living room at Carmilla.  “Are you being rude, again?” she teased

Carmilla held her heart, her mouth dropped open, offended.  “Me? Rude?”

Laura dropped her bag off by the door and walked over to the sink.  “Rude, messy, whatever,” she snapped.  “It wasn’t enough that I had to wash out that thermos from last night?  I have to come home and wash out your damn empty cups, too?”

Carmilla felt a smile creeping onto her face. _I’m pretty sure no one has ever spoken to me this way_ , she mused.

“Did you guys find anything?” Laura called over her shoulder, leaving the cup to drain.

“Sorry,” LaFontaine responded. “I mean, all we have to work off is that Carmilla went after the witch, then poofed back into your apartment, and then passed out and woke up with a missing chunk of memory.”

The group all looked at Carmilla.

“What?”

No one answered.

“ _What_?”

“It’s just, we wish you had left some kind of indication of where you went before you lost your memory,” Danny replied.

“Well sorry for causing the inconvenience,” Carmilla said dryly.  She blew her bangs out of her eyes.  “So is anyone going to tell me what’s going on?”

 

There seemed to be some kind of silent agreement that Laura would do the honors.  She took a deep breath before beginning.

“Buckle up, creampuff,” she started, grinning at the vampire.

Carmilla rolled her eyes.

“A few weeks ago, we came back from a party to find a vampire in the apartment.  His name was Jeremy.  You met him back in the early 1950’s, right?”

Carmilla nodded.

“Well, he showed up and he was so yucky and bloody and gross and he said that some witch just tried to sacrifice him. He said she mentioned something about immortality, but he gave us the address of the place he escaped from.”

“Super helpful,” Carmilla retorted.

“Yeah, yeah, you said the same thing to him then, too. So on Thursday, we went to the address, but she was long gone.  We asked around and found out her name.  I had a big exam on Friday, and you said you were going to ask around, so I didn’t see you most of Friday and Saturday.  Early yesterday afternoon, you teleported back into the apartment, and passed out. And then… well, you remember waking up.”

Carmilla sighed.

 

The group slowly returned to whatever menial tasks they had been doing.  Laura handed out slices of pizza as small talk ensued.  Carmilla returned to the bedroom.  A few hours had passed before Laura knocked on the doorframe.

“We’re going out for a walk to take a break. Wanna join?”

Carmilla shook her head.

“Okay.  We’ll be back soon.”  Laura turned to leave.

“Wait,” Carmilla said.  Laura pivoted to face the vampire.  “What happened to Jeremy?”

Laura looked pensive for a moment, sticking her tongue out.  Carmilla tried not to think about how cute she looked.  “Oh!” _Jesus Christ, you can actually_ see _a light bulb clicking on in her head._ “He said something along the lines of, ‘Just wanted to let you know, doll.  I’m getting’ the hell outta dodge while I still can, and you should, too. You and your tiny dame.’”

Carmilla smirked at the girl’s impeccable imitation. “Why didn’t we get the hell outta dodge?”

Laura shrugged.  “I told you to leave campus and wait until I found out if the witch was harmless, or got bored and left, but your stupid vampire butt decided to stay. And _then_ your stupid vampire butt decided to go hunt down the witch on your own without backup.”

“Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know, Carm,” Laura shrugged. “But you did, and I promise we’ll figure out what happened, okay?”

Carmilla offered what she hoped was a small smile, but it came off more as a grimace.

“Was that supposed to be a smile?” Carmilla didn’t bother answering. Laura giggled. “Okay, Grumpy Puss. See you later.”

Carmilla frowned when the apartment was empty. She had been used to being a loner for centuries, but the sudden lack of din was unsettling. Or, rather, the lack of Laura’s voice.

 _Whatever_. She went back to reading her book.

 

The next few days went by the same way. Laura continued sleeping on the couch at night and would wake up and go to class in the morning. Carmilla would wake up in the afternoon to a glass of blood on the nightstand, and to a bunch of chattering in the living room.

Laura did take the time out to explain to Carmilla how to use her iPhone, and how to use a laptop with the updated Internet. Carmilla got the hang of it almost immediately.  Still, there was a bit of a learning curve, and Laura was more than patient, addressing all of Carmilla’s questions without making her feel dumb for asking them.

There hadn’t been any more nightmares, and Carmilla kept conversation to a minimum.


	4. Blood Sausages And The Yellow Pillow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura decides to continue one of her traditions with Carmilla, and tries to impress upon her the importance of the yellow pillow.

Carmilla woke up to find a distinct lack of blood on her nightstand.  She sat up and frowned at the void.  Then she looked around. There was also a distinct lack of conversation coming from the living room.  She slowly made her way out, only to find it was just Laura sitting on a couch.

“Hey!” she greeted, smiling.

“Where is everyone?”

Laura’s smile dimmed a bit at the non-greeting. “It’s a weekend, silly. The Summer Society has a party tonight, so Danny’s helping out with that.  Perry’s hosting an event and is making her unofficial co-floor don attend. Kirsch is hungover from a Zeta party last night.  So I’m just baby-sitting J.P. by myself.”

Carmilla rubbed her eyes.  It was too early for all these names to be thrown at her. She vaguely remembered that Danny was the tall, Amazonian-like one.  Kirsch was obviously the guy.  She was still not entirely sure which one was Perry and which one was Lafontaine. And J.P. was… some kind of stick?

Laura seemed to realize Carmilla’s confusion. “J.P.’s the guy who got sucked into a digital version of the Silas campus library, and Lafontaine extracted him and placed him in a flash drive.  He can communicate with us through the computer screen.”

“I knew that,” Carmilla growled, fooling no one.

 

“Sure, okay.”  Laura giggled and walked towards the other girl.  “Anyway, since today’s the first ‘free’ day I’ve had, I went out grocery shopping.  How would you like some blood sausage tonight?”

Carmilla gave her a blank look.

“I know it’s your favorite.” Laura grinned, nudging her with her elbow.

“Why are you being so nice?” Carmilla snapped.

Laura blinked at her in confusion. “I’m not,” she answered truthfully. “I always cook it for us on weekends.”

“I don’t eat human food.”

“Duh!  Yeah, I know!”  Laura tilted her head and stuck out her tongue and then bounded to the kitchen to start preparing dinner.

Carmilla caught herself with a half-smile at the tiny ball of happiness that started laying out ingredients.

“Well, don’t just stand there staring at me and being all useless,” Laura said, gesturing for Carmilla to walk over. “I wasn’t sure what you were in the mood for.  For the meat, I bought pork, beef, and lamb.  For fillers, we’ve got rice, potatoes, bread crumbs, milk, eggs, cheese, and almonds.”

Carmilla stared at the girl, wondering if she was playing a prank on her.

“What?”

“Why are you giving me so many options?”

Laura rolled her eyes.  “So you _are_ gonna stand there, being all useless, after all.”  She shook her head with a smile.  “How’s pork with rice and bread crumbs, and of course, human blood for the sausages sound? I can make roasted potatoes as the side dish.”

Carmilla gave a noncommittal nod.

Laura gave a hand wave that indicated that Carmilla was free to leave the kitchen.  “I swear,” she mused, “you fight me on every single little thing and the one time I actually want your opinion on something, suddenly you’re at a loss for words.”

Carmilla couldn’t stifle the chuckle that escaped.

 

Carmilla spent the next couple hours reading on the couch, stealing glances at the small girl bouncing around the kitchen. When Laura called out that dinner was ready, Carmilla made sure to take her time so as not to seem too eager. Truth be told, the aroma that filled the apartment had already making her salivate, but she didn’t want that to become general knowledge.

Laura sat at the table, patiently waiting for her dinner buddy to join.  Carmilla sat down and the two began their meal in silence.

“How did we kill Mother?” Carmilla asked suddenly.

Laura almost choked on her food. She cleared her throat. “J.P. found a weapon called the Blade of Hastur.  It allowed the user to kill lophiiformes –– the being that your mother was serving those girls up to –– but it consumed them.  Or, at least, it was supposed to.  Your mother lied to you about that. And then there was a bit of a zombie thing that followed, but it got handled in time for spring semester to begin.”

“Hmm,” was Carmilla’s only response.

Laura sniggered.  “Whoa, try not to be so hyper verbal.  You’re talking my ear off.”

Carmilla smiled but said nothing.

 

The rest of the evening was spent in silence, with Laura doing the dishes while Carmilla skulked in the bedroom. Laura watched some television while routinely checking on J.P., who hadn’t made any discoveries on the witch so far.

She eventually dozed off for a few hours, before she heard Carmilla having another nightmare.  She made her way over to the bedroom and approached the bed and knelt down next to it.  She placed a firm but reassuring hand on the vampire’s shoulder.  “Hey, Carm,” she said softly.  “Carm, wake up, you’re having a nightmare.  Carm––”

A hand reached out and snatched Laura’s wrist. Carmilla’s eyes opened and stared into Laura’s, but Laura could see they weren’t focusing and recognizing her. The grip was strong, and painful, but Laura took a breath to calm herself down.

“Carmilla, it’s me, Laura.  You were having a bad dream, and now you’re fine.”

The vampire blinked slowly and finally seemed to really look at the face staring back at her.  “Laura?”

Laura let out a sigh of relief and nodded. “Yeah.”

Carmilla looked down at the wrist she held tightly in her hands and immediately let go.  She mumbled what sounded like an apology.

 

Laura stood up.  “Do you want to––”

“––I’m not in the mood for star gazing tonight, cupcake,” Carmilla interrupted.

“Oh, okay.  That’s probably good.  It’s raining.” Laura walked back into the living room and returned, holding something in her hands.

“What is it?” Carmilla asked.

Laura held it out for her.  It was her yellow pillow.  “I’m not sure why, but having it when you sleep helps calm you down,” she replied with a smile.  “I never really asked why.”

Carmilla laughed dryly.  “Thanks, buttercup, but I don’t see how some stupid pillow––”

“––Don’t call the pillow ‘stupid,’” Laura snapped, still holding out the pillow.  “I love this pillow.  And you do, too. And even if 2001 Carmilla doesn’t, just take the chance and take the pillow.”

“No.”

“Take the pillow!”

“No!”

“For the love of cookies, Carm, you kept taking the pillow when we first met, no matter how many times I yelled at you about it, and now you _won’t_ take the pillow?”

Laura’s face was all bunched up again and damn it if she didn’t look adorable.

“What are you going to sleep on?”

“We have a bunch of other pillows, I’ll just use one of those.”

“Why don’t I use one of those pillows, then?”

“ _Because_ you always ask me for _this_ goddamn pillow, so just take the friggin’ thing!  Jiminy Cricket, Carmilla!”  Laura stomped her foot.

Carmilla took the pillow and frowned at it. “Why are you allowed to call it a ‘goddamn pillow,’ but I can’t call it ‘stupid?’”

Laura grumbled something like “dumb vampire,” grabbed another pillow, and stormed out.  A few moments passed before she stormed back in.

“Good night!”  she yelled angrily before storming back out.

 

Carmilla gave a small chuckle and _damn it, holding this pillow_ does _calm me down._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the feedback, guys!! Hope you're enjoying it so far! More feedback is always welcome.


	5. Good Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla watches Laura's old vlogs and realizes she's been rather self-centered about the entire memory loss situation. Laura is glad to have a nice conversation with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad you guys have been enjoying the fluff! Sorry it took so long to get there, I just figured it'd be weird to have a memoryless Carmilla diving straight into the Hollstein fluff.  
> As a note, most of my fluff ideas are inspired by my dork parents ;)  
> Enjoy!

_Mondays suck_.  Laura had come back from her classes when she noticed her laptop was no longer on the couch.  She put her bag down and walked to the bedroom, seeing that the light was on.  Carmilla was watching something on the laptop with headphones on.

“Whacha watching?” she asked.  Carmilla seemed too engrossed in whatever she was looking at to answer.  That, or she heard, and didn’t want to bother answering.

Laura walked over to see what it was, and saw that it was one of her vlogs.

It took her a few moments to identify it as the second one she’d made once her and Carmilla had moved in.  Laura was unpacking and talking to the camera, while Carmilla lounged around in the background.  Laura kept turning to ask her to help, but Carmilla adopted an increasingly indifferent façade.  That is, until Laura picked up one of Carmilla’s boxes with books, and it slipped from her hands and dropped on her foot.  Then Carmilla rushed over in worry and made Laura sit down before she unpacked everything else…

 

Carmilla paused her video and took off her headphones.  “I-I watched all of them,” she said quietly.  “All of them up to this one, anyway.”

Laura giggled, sitting at the foot of the bed.  “Ah, so you saw our first moments together,” she said, smiling.  “I can’t believe that was just a year ago.”

Carmilla averted her gaze and frowned.  “I was so mean to you,” she murmured.

“Oh, yeah, coz you’ve been such a loving ball of warmth this second time around,” Laura teased.  Carmilla’s frown deepened.  “I’m just kidding!” she added quickly.

An awkward silence followed, which Laura of course decided to end.  “Carm, I really was kidding.  I know this whole thing can’t be easy on you.”  She offered a reassuring smile.  “Did the videos help?”

Carmilla sighed deeply but didn’t answer.  A long silence followed.

Laura responded with a sigh of her own.  “Okay, good talk,” she said sarcastically, getting up from the bed.

Carmilla put a hand on Laura’s knee, stopping her.  “It has been hard on me,” she spoke softly, finally making eye contact.  “But it’s been hard on you, too, hasn’t it?”

Laura puffed up her cheeks and let them deflate slowly.  “Y-Yeah,” she admitted.  “I guess I just took for granted how much you’ve changed–– how much _we’ve_ changed, and the past year has just been so amazing with you, and… I… I-I just really miss you, Carm.”  A tear rolled down her cheek.

 

Carmilla couldn’t stop herself from wiping it away.  After watching those videos and watching herself fall in love with this girl, and watching the girl fall in love with her, she was ashamed at her behavior for the past few days.  Yes, she had lost her memory, but she had been so involved in making it about herself that she had neglected to realize that for Laura, her girlfriend was staring at her blankly, or flat-out looking right through her.

This small girl had gone through great lengths to make sure she was comfortable.  She made sure the vampire always had blood and remained fed.  Hell, she had been sleeping on the damn couch for days so the vampire wouldn’t feel like there was an intrusion in her sleeping space.  And she’d given up her pillow, too.

The worst part of it was that Carmilla had no idea anything had been troubling the girl at all.  Laura had just been smiling and laughing for days, genuinely trying to remain positive in the face of it all.

Even though Carmilla had been nothing short of cold and even rude, this human was so compassionate.  Carmilla couldn’t remember the last time someone effectively managed to wake her up from a nightmare, let alone helped calm her down, and had more than one method to do it.

And how had she repaid Laura?  She made snide remarks, she remained discourteous, and she even sneered at some weekly ritual that Laura was trying to involve her in.  _I didn’t even thank her for dinner_ , she realized, guiltily looking down and finding that a bruise had formed around Laura’s wrist from when she’d gripped it Saturday night.

She knew most of it had been bad habits she’d formed over the past three centuries from her experiences with Mother and Elle.  But that didn’t mean Laura deserved to be on the receiving end of her callousness.

 

“Carm?  You okay?”  Laura asked, worried.

Carmilla touched her face and realized she was crying.  She turned away, embarrassed.

Laura let out a small chuckle.  “Come on, you silly vampire,” she said, turning Carmilla’s head back to face her.  “Why are you crying?”

“Th-thank you for the blood sausages the other night,” Carmilla muttered.

Laura laughed.  “A bit late for that, don’t you think?”

“And I’m sorry for your wrist.  And for kicking you out of your own bed.”

The tiny girl tilted her head.  “Whoa, gratitude _and_ an apology?”  She felt Carmilla’s forehead.  “You sick or something?”

Carmilla gave her a playful shove.  “Good job ruining the moment, you dork.”

Laura grinned and Carmilla wanted to smack that look off her face.  “What brought all of this on?”

“The videos,” she answered slowly.  “They just made me realize that even though I don’t remember any of it, you do.  And I know all too well that remembering can be just as bad as not remembering.”

Laura shrugged.  “Ah, don’t worry about it.  Perry was right.  The girl I fell in love with was still in you.  You have to be, because there is no way anyone else can get on my nerves as much as you do.”

 

Carmilla sighed.  “Laura?”

“Hmm?”

“Have we…”  Carmilla swallowed hard.  “Have we talked about your… your mortality?”

Laura blinked in surprise.  “Uh.  Wow.  It’s really all-or-nothing with you, huh?”  She bit her lip.  “We haven’t.  I mean, we probably will, but it’s just we’re only a year or so into the relationship.  I know you aren’t particularly fond of the idea of turning me.”  She began wringing her hands.  “I also know you’re not entirely happy as a vampire…”  Her voice trailed off, and she seemed to be blinking back tears.

Carmilla shrugged, trying to stop the girl from bursting into tears.  “It’s fine, I was… I was just wondering, is all.”

Laura nodded, a bit too hard.  “Okay, cool.  I’m gonna go make myself dinner.”  She rose from the bed and paused at the door.  “Carm?”

“Yes, cutie?”

“This…  This was nice.”  Laura turned and left the room.

“Yes.  Yes, it was,” Carmilla whispered once she was out of earshot.


	6. Don’t You Look Like A Creampuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit of fluff involving a snowball fight during a day when classes have been canceled.

Carmilla woke up and walked out into the living room to find Laura watching some teen drama on the television and munching on cookies. She had been staring so intently at the screen she almost jumped when Carmilla muttered her greetings.

“Good job dropping cookie crumbs everywhere, spaz.”

Laura laughed.

Carmilla finished her cup of blood before settling down on a couch adjacent to Laura’s.  “Why are you here?  Isn’t it Wednesday? Don’t you have class?” She quirked an eyebrow. “Unless you’re skipping class?”

Laura rolled her eyes.  “Pfft, and _I’m_ the oblivious one.”  She changed the channel to a news channel, where a very bundled-up field reporter was currently trying to trek over a deep snow bank.  “It snowed last night.  Danny texted me to say that a bunch of pixies or something teleported all the shovels and snow blowers to an alternate dimension, so the campus wasn’t cleared by the time classes started.”

“Oh.”

 

Laura watched the news report for a couple more minutes before speaking.

“Do you wanna go out for a walk? They shoveled around the apartment building.”

Carmilla raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t look at me like that!  I’m just saying, you’ve been cooped up, and I know you like being outside.”

“Fine.”

Carmilla went to the bedroom to throw on a pea coat and boots, and returned to the living room.  Laura went in after, and came out in a puffy parka, galoshes, a scarf, a beanie, and mittens.

“Wow, creampuff, don’t you look like… a creampuff.”

Laura grinned over her scarf. “Let’s go!”

“And where my marshmallow goes, I shall follow,” Carmilla teased.

 

They made it to the park in silence, Carmilla not realizing that Laura was slowly dropping behind her.

Suddenly, she felt something hard and cold hit the back of her head.  “What the frilly hell…?” She turned around to see Laura beaming at her.

“It’s always the little ones,” Carmilla retorted.

Laura picked up more snow off the ground and lobbed it at Carmilla’s chest.

Carmilla huffed.  “Now you’re gonna get it!” she yelled, quickly returning fire.

Laura squeaked as one snowball hit her in the shoulder while she was running away.

They continued at this for several minutes, with Carmilla hitting more than she was missing, and Laura missing more than she was hitting.  Carmilla found herself laughing and smiling, and scooping up more snow, taking aim, throwing, and––

 

“Ow!”  Laura held up her hands in surrender.  “Jeez, Carm, there was ice in that one!”

Carmilla ran to the small girl and, sure enough, there was a small cut on her face.

“Sorry, cupcake,” Carmilla said gently, looking down at the ground.

Laura giggled.  “Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater,” she teased. Carmilla gave a half-smile but her eyes remained trained to the ground.  “Hey. Carm?”  Carmilla’s eyes slowly met Laura’s.  “It’s fine, okay?” She gave the vampire a quick peck on the cheek and then, realizing what she had done, pulled away to assess the reaction.

Carmilla visibly relaxed and her smile grew. “Okay.”  She dusted the snow off Laura and herself. “But I think I’ve had enough of being outdoors for now.”

 

The two girls returned to their apartment as it began raining heavily outside.

Right before she went to sleep, Laura checked her phone.  “I got a text from Danny. Classes are canceled tomorrow because the campus is super icy now.”

“Okay.”

“Goodnight, Carm.”

“Goodnight, buttercup.”


	7. Don't Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who finally lets Laura back in their bed...!

Laura woke up again to sounds of Carmilla having a nightmare.  This one was the worst, with Carmilla screaming, crying, and flailing.  The yellow pillow had been knocked off the bed, lying abandoned on the floor.  Laura knew, from experience, that if she tried to calm a flailing Carmilla from the bedside, it would be at the wrong angle and inviting a black eye.

So she decided to crawl into the bed, and took both of the vampire’s wrists in her hands.  She planted a light kiss on Carmilla’s forehead.  “Shh, Carm, it’s okay,” she whispered.  Carmilla whimpered but seemed to stop moving her arms as violently. “You’re fine, Carm, shh.”

Carmilla slowly opened her eyes and looked at Laura, who let go of her wrists.

“Laura?”  Her voice sounded so small.

One night, months ago Carmilla had given vague descriptions of some of her nightmares.  They were mostly about being locked in the coffin, or about the night she was murdered, or about how she had watched from afar as her family died off, one by one.

“I’m here,” Laura said softly, letting go of her wrists. “You’re safe.”

Carmilla wiped the tears from her eyes and sniffled. “Thank you,” she murmured.

Laura smiled back and started to get off the bed.

 

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to get the yellow pillow, and then I’m going to let you sleep,” she replied, starting to rise from the bed again.

Carmilla grabbed her arm.  “Wait.”

Laura looked at her expectantly.

“The pillow,” Carmilla began, letting go of Laura’s arm.  “It’s not the pillow that calms me down.  It-It just reminds me of you.”  She shrugged. “It smells like your shampoo and soap and it’s kind of the same size as you…”

“Hey!”

Laura chuckled.

“I-I just… can you just hold me?” She swallowed hard. “Please?”  Laura looked down into those pleading, warm eyes, and for a moment she could’ve sworn her old Carmilla was back.

“Of course,” Laura said.  She propped herself up on a couple of pillows, then wrapped one arm around Carmila’s shoulders, and draped the other across her waist. “Is this okay?” she asked softly.

Carmilla nodded and nuzzled her head into Laura’s shoulder, the remnants of sniffles slowly going away.

 

 

When Laura was sure the vampire had fallen asleep, and gently removed herself from the bed.  She started to walk out of the room when a floorboard creaked.

“Wha––” she heard from behind her. “Laura?  Why are you leaving?”

Laura turned around as if she had been caught stealing from the cookie jar.  “Well, I just figured you’d calmed down enough to sleep, so I was going to go back to the couch…”

“Oh.”  Carmilla sat there, her eyebrows furrowed as she considered her next word carefully. “Don’t.”

“‘Don’t,’ what?”

“Don’t go.” Carmilla took a deep breath. “Sleep in here with me.” She patted the spot next to her on the bed.

Laura grinned.  “Are you sure?”

Carmilla nodded.

Laura bounced back to the bed and hopped onto it, squealing.

Carmilla rolled her eyes, but smiled. “Goodnight, you weird marshmallow.”

Laura assumed her previous position of holding Carmilla.  “Goodnight, Carm.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the awesome feedback, guys!!


	8. Quit Playing Games With My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla go on a road trip. Fluff ensues. And then fluff ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the title is going to be how you all feel after reading this...

“Psst, Carm,” Laura whispered from the bedside. “Carm?”

She poked the sleeping vampire, who grumbled some obscenities and then rolled over to face her but made no other movements.

“Caaaaarm,” she called.  There was no further response, so she resorted to peeling back her eyelid.  “Waaaake uuuup,” she sang.

Carmilla squinted out of one eye. “I knew if we slept together for one night that I’d regret it,” she mumbled sleepily.  “Leave me alone before I eat you.”  Laura giggled and Carmilla couldn’t help but chuckle too. “What the hell do you want, hon?”

Laura placed a glass of blood on the nightstand. “J.P. found out which coven the witch belonged to, and where they’re based.”

Carmilla sat up and started drinking the blood.

“How do you feel about a road trip?”

 

* * *

 

 

Laura left J.P. with LaFontaine since they didn’t trust them to be as careful with him.

“I don’t understand why they’re being so anal,” Carmilla commented from the passenger’s seat of Laura’s car.

Laura gave a nervous laugh.  “The last time they left him with us, your Mother possessed me and crushed him into dust.  Luckily, Laf had a back-up.”

Carmilla scoffed.  “I remember.  That doesn’t make any of this any less weird.”

The drive was estimated to take at least six hours. The first couple of hours had been filled with small, random anecdotes about their past year together.

Carmilla wanted to take turns driving so Laura could nap, especially since the trip had now moved into nighttime, but she wasn’t sure how to work the GPS navigation system.  The compromise was for Carmilla to stay awake and keep her company –– a decision they were both regretting.

 

“Seriously?  You thought *NSYNC was better than the Backstreet Boys?” Carmilla yelled with her arms crossed.

“I didn’t say ‘better,’ I said they were just as good as––”

“There’s no comparison!”

“How would you even know?  You barely remember their _No Strings Attached_ album release, and you don’t remember their _Celebrity_ album, at all!”

Carmilla slammed the dashboard with a fist, leaving a dent.  “I cannot believe this madness!”  She huffed. “They had their self-titled album, and _Backstreet’s Back_ , and _Millennium_ , AND _Black & Blue_!  You’re telling me that stupid ‘Bye Bye Bye’ song holds a candle to ‘I Want It That Way,’ ‘Larger than Life,’ ‘Quit Playing Games With My Heart,’ ‘The One,’ or ‘Shape of My Heart?!’”  Laura was half expecting the vampire to unbuckle her seatbelt and grab her by the throat until she agreed with her.

Laura let out an exasperated sigh. “Gee, have a conniption, why don’t you, Carm?” This had simply started because some One Direction song came on the radio and Carmilla made some remark about boy bands.  “I’m just saying, Justin Timberlake is still recording music and is overall awesome.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes.  “And _I’m_ just saying that the Backstreet Boys had a better comeback and reunion than *NSYNC could ever hope for.”

Laura raised an eyebrow.

“I looked them up on Wikipedia,” Carmilla explained, an edge still obvious in a growl.

 

Laura laughed, which seemed to calm Carmilla down.

A comfortable silence followed, with Laura turning off the main highway onto some smaller road.

“How do you do that?” Carmilla asked.

Laura looked over, confused.  “Uhm, well, you see, Carm… You turn the circular wheel thingy in your hands, and it makes the four big circular wheel thingies under the car go where you want them to go…”

Carmilla glared at her.  “I didn’t mean driving, you idiot.”  Laura laughed.  “That! How do you just… laugh and make me instantly feel…”  She struggled for a word. “…calmer?”  Laura’s look of confusion returned.  Carmilla pulled a thermos out of her backpack under the glove compartment.  “You made me pack this before we left.”

“Yes,” Laura replied, not sure why it was significant. “I didn’t want my amnesiac girlfriend to get hungry while we were in a car for six hours.”

Carmilla took a sip of blood and chuckled. “See, that’s what I mean. Anyone else would’ve said, ‘I didn’t want to be stuck in a car for six hours with a hungry vampire.’ But you… you don’t see me as a vampire, do you?”

Laura shrugged.  “I’m aware of it, but it’s not like it’s an all-encompassing term for you. You’re more than just a vampire.” She grinned.  “You’re _Carmilla_.”

 

Carmilla shook her head and smiled. “Cupcake, your compassion is unparalleled.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s the only reason you keep me around,” Laura teased.  “One time, the Alchemy club spiked the drinks at a party and anyone who drank from a certain punch bowl wound up sleep walking for a week.  But since you were a vampire, it had adverse effects, and the only way for you to wake up was to feed straight from the source.”  She rolled her eyes.  “You fed on people for the first two nights and I couldn’t take you hurting people anymore so for the rest of the week, when I felt you get out of the bed, I’d cut myself and let you feed from me.”

“You did _what_?”

“You had no idea for the entire week.” Laura blushed. “But one night you saw I had all these cuts on me and I finally told you.  You got _so_ mad.”  Laura laughed.

Carmilla shook her head incredulously, taking a sip from the thermos.  “You’re psychotic!” she exclaimed.

Laura pouted.  “What happened to ‘Cupcake, you’re compassionate?’”  She imitated Carmilla.

“I do _not_ sound like that.”

“‘Oh, my name is Carmilla Mircalla Millarca Arcillma Karnstein, watch me brood and mope and be snarky while I go around the apartment and light twenty million candles, one for every star I stare at while I brood and mope and snark,’” Laura joked.

Carmilla smiled and playfully swatted at the tiny girl. “I have this strange feeling that you’re mocking me,” she said sarcastically, gulping down more blood.

“‘Backstreet Boys is way, way, way, _way_ better than *NSYNC and I don’t know what a clothes hamper is for––’”

 

The car suddenly spun out of control, tires screeching as it drove straight off the road, rolling and tumbling down the hill, and landed upside down.


	9. Happy Anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura wakes up to assess the damage from the car crash. Carmilla takes it from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the heart attacks and panic the last chapter incited hahaha

Laura groaned when she opened her eyes, squinting at the glaring sunlight.  Her brain vaguely registered that she and Carmilla had been driving, and then the car suddenly went bonkers and dove off the road, and then… nothing.

 _We were unconscious all night_ , she slowly realized, turning to look at the passenger seat.

She gasped to see an entire branch jutting out from Carmilla’s lower ribcage, entering from the rear window at an angle.

“Carm,” Laura rasped.  “Carm, can you hear me?”

There was no response.

 

Laura moved to undo her seatbelt, wincing when she discovered she had probably sprained her wrist.  She wasn’t sure what other injuries she had, but checking would have to wait.  She unbuckled herself and managed to wiggle out from her broken window.  The trunk was already warped open a bit, so Laura managed to pry it completely open and rifle through its contents.

She silently thanked her father for making her pack a slew of seemingly useless tools–– _just in case_ –– including a first aid kit, canned fruits and vegetables, matches, a crowbar, granola bars, a small toolbox, a backup first aid kit, bottled water, flash lights, a backup crowbar(?), and a sturdy handsaw.

Laura broke the back passenger window with one of the crowbars, grabbed the handsaw, and cut the branch from the back of Carmilla’s seat, leaving enough of it to grab it and remove it. The vampire still wasn’t moving, but Laura tried her best not to think too much about that. She braced herself, and then pulled it out, ignoring the blood-coated end.  She cautiously broke Carmilla’s window and pulled the unconscious girl out carefully, lifting her from under her arms and backing the two of them up until they were several feet away, ignoring the pains shooting through her own wrist.

Carmilla’s wound began to heal itself slowly as the bleeding gradually stopped.  The small cuts covering her body were already healed, betrayed only by the blood that was smeared where they had been.

 

Laura took a deep breath, and finally decided to look down at herself and assess her own injuries. 

Well, there was her sprained wrist, which she totally just agitated when she basically became the equivalent of a mother lifting a vehicle off their child.

She looked along the rest of that arm, which was fine, but her other arm had a long cut on it.  One of her legs had a gash.  _That wouldn’t explain the whole lightheaded feeling I’ve got going on right now_ …

She knew there was something else that was causing the dizziness–– something she couldn’t quite place.  She looked around the rest of her body, and–– _wow, did_ not _know that was there_.

There was a very large, deep cut along her side, and Laura vaguely remembered thinking she got her shirt caught on one of the windows she crawled through.  _Guess it wasn’t just my shirt that got caught_ , she thought, feeling very tired and like she needed to put her head down…

 

* * *

 

 

She tried to open her eyes but winced when the light from the fireplace was too much.

“Laura,” a relieved voice came from beside the couch she was lying on.  “You’re okay.”

She tried to sit up, but it was too fast, and pain shot through her side, causing her to let out a gasp.

“Whoa, whoa, Laura, hold on,” the voice rang urgently. Carmilla rushed to her human from the chair she was sitting on, gently helping her sit up.

Laura offered a grateful smile.

“I wasn’t sure what to do,” Carmilla admitted, sitting on the couch next to Laura.  “But I figured your heart was beating okay enough and your breathing was fine, so you didn’t need to be taken to the hospital.”  She shrugged, trying and failing to look nonchalant. “I brought you here and cleaned your wounds and slapped some bandages on you.”

“Did you sneak a snack while you were at it?” Laura deadpanned.

Carmilla looked mildly offended.

Laura elbowed the vampire.  “It was a joke, Carm, jeez.”  She gave her a light nudge.  “And, thanks.” She grinned at her but when it went unrequited, she looked around.  She was in some large cabin, with a warm fireplace.  There was a couch and two comfortable-looking chairs. Other than that, the room was pretty empty. “Where’s ‘here?’”

Carmilla hesitated, as if she didn’t know how much to tell Laura.

“Okaaaay,” Laura said, gently rubbing her fingers over the bandages on her arm, leg, and side.  “It’s going to be another one of those conversations where I get a totally equal reciprocation from you, huh?”

 

“It’s my cabin,” Carmilla said.

“You never told me you had a cabin,” Laura said, smiling.

“I actually forgot about it,” she answered. “I found it and bought it cheap in the early nineteenth century, in between sacrifices.  Mother never knew.”  She bit her lip.  “The only reason I remembered was because when I came to, I realized I recognized the area, so I teleported to the cabin.”

“So, you totally could’ve saved us hours of driving,” Laura teased.

Carmilla gave a small chuckle. “I could’ve, but I didn’t know where we were headed,” she pointed out.  “The place wasn’t exactly mapped out the last time I was here. There wasn’t even a road here back then.” She shrugged.  “But when I woke up I recognized some of the mountains in the distance and I figured it’d be safe for us to hide out here until you woke up, since it’s in the general vicinity of our destination. I also took all the stuff outta the trunk and whatever else we left in the car.”

“Good thinking.”

 

Carmilla leaned back into the couch. “So, what happened after the car crashed, cutie?”

“What do you mean?”

The vampire rolled her eyes.  “How did we go from a crashed car to both of us lying on the side of the road unconscious?”

“Oh!  Well, I woke up, and you had this huge branch in you, so I crawled out–– and I guess cut myself in the process–– and got the trunk open and pulled out the saw and cut it from the backseat of the car, and then I pulled it out of you, and then I dragged you out of the car, and then I got super lightheaded and passed out.”

Carmilla couldn’t stop her mouth from dropping open. “ _You_ pulled me out?  After pulling a branch out from me?”  Her eyes were wide as she regarded the tiny girl next to her.  “How?”

Laura threw her head back in a laugh. “It’s a secret. Can’t lose my air of mystery, can I?”

Carmilla narrowed her eyes.  “Hon, the only hint to an air of mystery that you have going on, is the mystery of why you’re still with me.”  Before Laura could respond, Carmilla stood up from the couch. “Anyway, I’m making you some dinner. Or whatever you want to call a meal this late at night.  Hope you’re okay with some deer meat.”

Laura raised an eyebrow.  “You made me dinner?”

Carmilla walked off to the kitchen area. “I needed more blood, and I figured we might as well use the whole animal.”

“When did you learn how to cook a deer?”

“It’s not like they had Seamless back in the 1600’s, babe,” Carmilla retorted.  “People went hunting as sport, and then they cooked the game after.”

 

Laura sat on the couch as Carmilla bustled about the kitchen.  Carmilla took a deep breath before speaking.

“Hey, cupcake?”

“Yeah?”

“I was using my phone before, and an alert popped up when it hit midnight.”

Laura craned her neck to look at the vampire. “An alert about what?”

Carmilla swallowed hard.  “It was the calendar application saying i-it was… That it’s our anniversary.”

Laura turned back around.  “Yeah, it is,” she spoke softly.  “We had our first kiss a year ago today.”

Carmilla tried not to let the sadness in the other girl’s voice bother her.  It didn’t work. “We didn’t have plans?” she asked, aiming to sound flippant.

Laura gave a small chuckle.  “We talked about taking a vacation, but then we decided that we’d just reserve the day to spend together, no interruptions.” She sighed.  “That turned out great, didn’t it?”

She didn’t sound rueful or bitter, just vaguely amused.

 

Carmilla cleared her throat.  “Anyway, while you were passed out, I also looked over the map on the phone, and I’m pretty sure I can teleport us close enough that it won’t be too hard to find it on foot.”

Carmilla walked over and gently lifted Laura off the couch and carried her to the table where the food was. Laura smiled at the contact.

“Cool,” Laura replied.  “I think I should be okay to go tomorrow.”

Carmilla stopped walking, regarding the girl with a look of utter skepticism.  “Tomorrow?” She gave a small chuckle. “How does so much willpower fit into your tiny body?”  She settled Laura into the seat carefully.

“I’m telling you!” Laura replied, smirking, “I have secrets.  Like, _so_ many.”

Carmilla laughed as she sat across the table. “Okay, muffin. Okay.  Whatever you say.”

Laura began eating the meal her girlfriend had prepared for her.  “Oh, man! Carm, this is amazing!” She beamed at her and Carmilla couldn’t help but smile back.

“Cupcake?”

“Mmhmm?”  Laura’s mouth was stuffed full with food.

“Happy Anniversary.”

Laura swallowed her food and Carmilla swore that if anyone ever wondered what pure happiness looked like, the answer was in this girl’s face.

“Happy Anniversary, Carm.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this chapter made up for the last one!


	10. Rest In Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla and Laura leave the cabin to find the coven's house. After a few discoveries, they head back to their apartment for some bad news...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the chapter, guys :D

Light poured through the curtains near the bed, causing Carmilla to stir.  She felt a small body next to her and looked to see Laura snuggled up against her. She found herself smiling at the girl curled up on her arm, radiating as much warmth physically as her personality did.

And then she frowned when her eyes traveled to the bandaged wounds on the small girl.

She still couldn’t quite wrap her mind around the fact that Laura had managed to pull remove the offending branch that had impaled her, and then drag her out of the car.  She vaguely remembered from the vlogs that Laura was perfectly capable of handing herself, but it was still surprising.

The vlogs had been a strange experience for Carmilla. While they did a great job as exposition for what had happened with Mother and other vampires under her thumb, they had an unintended effect.  Watching them gave her a window through which she saw how her future self had slowly fallen in love with Laura, saw the things that had made her smile or take notice of her.  It wasn’t too much of a stretch, considering Carmilla had seen the same things in the past week. Laura was definitely obnoxiously headstrong and stubborn, but she was also incredibly compassionate and considerate to a fault.

Carmilla had insisted on sleeping on the couch so that Laura could have the bed to herself, since she was still recovering from her injuries, especially considering that she had inadvertently exiled the poor girl to their apartment couch for several nights, but Laura insisted she would sleep better with someone else in the bed.

Laura also insisted that she would keep as much a distance from Carmilla in the bed so as to not make her feel uncomfortable. Carmilla regarded their current position and surmised she didn’t feel uncomfortable.  _Which is weird considering I haven’t been used to literally_ just _sleeping with someone for over three centuries._

 _I must be going soft_.

 

Laura shifted a bit and went to rub her eyes, completely forgetting that her wrist still hurt, and let out a small gasp in pain.

“Are you okay?” Carmilla asked next to her.

Laura opened her eyes and realized she was cuddled up against the vampire’s side.  “Yeah, I just totally forgot about my wrist,” she said, sheepishly peeling herself off.  “Sorry,” she mumbled.

“About what, cupcake?”

“Encroaching on your personal space while we slept. Habits, y’know?”

Carmilla rolled off the bed.  “Ah.  I didn’t even notice.” She walked around the bed and helped Laura sit up.

“You’re such a liar,” Laura teased, smiling as the other girl helped her get out of bed.  “Thanks.”

“Whatever.”  The vampire rolled her eyes.  “How are you feeling?”

Laura shrugged.  “Good enough to travel,” she replied.

“Okay, babe,” Carmilla replied, over-exaggerating her skepticism to annoy the other girl, “if you say so.”

 

Less than an hour later, Carmilla was teleporting them into the middle of some road, ensuring Laura that they were definitely a short distance from their destination.

Laura had clearly overestimated her recovery, as she could only walk a couple minutes at a time before stopping to hold her side. As a result, the beginning of the trip was still slow going until Carmilla finally had enough of her bravado and carried her for the remainder of the trip.

“Carm,” Laura whined.  “I can totally walk on my own!”

Carmilla scoffed, but paused to see if the girl was seriously protesting being carried.  “Am I hurting you?”

“No.”

“Then I’m carrying you.”

Laura leaned her head against the vampire’s shoulder. “Fine.”  She sighed.  “Thank you.”

 

The pair took a few wrong turns, but eventually found a small house in a clearing.  Carmilla gently put Laura down and entered.  Laura trailed closely behind, squinting into the unlit area.

Carmilla only took a few steps into the hallway before she stopped short.

“What is it?”

Carmilla frowned.

“Do you smell blood, or something?”

“I smell dead bodies,” Carmilla slowly said, hushed, “but no blood.  And there’s not much decay, so they haven’t been dead long.”

Laura walked around her.  “Let me go first.  This witch is trying to sacrifice vampires, and if whatever happened to your memory was because of her, then it’s stupidly dangerous to have you go in first.” Carmilla moved to object. “Do you have any actual logical rebuttal?” Laura interrupted.  Carmilla shook her head.

 

Laura walked forward slowly into the next room, immediately finding a light switch on the wall and flipping it.

The gruesome scene flashed before her–– bodies strewn about, some clearly having been caught off-guard, while others had been trying to make a run for it to other rooms.

“Oh my god,” she gasped in horror.

Carmilla pulled Laura out of the room back into the hallway, taking care to avoid the bandage on her arm.  Laura gently pulled her arm free.

“Laura…” Carmilla tried, concern evident in her voice.

“I’m going back in there,” Laura declared. “We need to find out what happened to your memory.”  Before the other girl could argue, she pivoted and re-entered the room.

Carmilla threw up her hands, exasperated, and followed her.

Laura tried to ignore the horror of the massacre and focused around the bodies.  “No blood,” she concurred.  “Which probably means that witch killed them with magic or something?”

Carmilla shrugged.  “Your guess is as good as mine, twinkie.” She listened hard, but from what she could tell, there were no other signs of anyone else in the house.

The room was otherwise empty, so they moved onto the next room.  There were no bodies in this one, only shelves of what looked like spell ingredients.

“The other room must be where they cast spells,” Laura guessed.

 

Laura went through the shelves, frowning at some of the ingredients.  “Are you hungry? There’s a bottle here labeled ‘Blood of Christ,’” Laura pointed out.

Carmilla rolled her eyes.  “I wish I’d known we were going to go grocery shopping,” she drawled.  “I would’ve brought my rewards card.”

Laura scoffed and bent down to open some cupboards. “Please.  Whenever we go grocery shopping, you barely remember to bring yourself, let alone a rewards card.”

“Wow, cupcake, you actually manage to make me go grocery shopping with you?”

Laura looked over her shoulder at the vampire, who was clearly checking her out.  “Yeah. I figure your whining is a small price to pay if I can get you to reach things off the higher shelves for me.”

Carmilla let out a small chuckle as Laura pulled out a thick book from the compartment.

“Is this their Book of Shadows?” Laura wondered, opened the cover.  Sure enough, the tome was full of recipes for potions, detailed accounts about other supernatural beings, instructions for spells and rituals, and annotated diagrams about the coven’s history.

 

They spent the next couple hours poring over the book and others they found with similar content, trying to ignore the fact that a massacre occurred in the next room.  Laura continued pulling books out and reading them while she sat cross-legged on the floor, while Carmilla took half the books and flipped through them at a small bench nearby.

“I’m starting to think I should’ve joined a witch coven at some point in my 335 years of life,” Carmilla commented. “Some of these rituals and potions could’ve come in handy.”

Laura scoffed.  “Like what?”

The vampire flipped backwards through the large tome in her hand, vaguely reminding Laura of when she was flipping through the Sumerian book a year ago.  “There’s a potion here that allows you to read minds for twenty-four hours.”

She picked up a book she had placed aside half an hour ago.  “This one has a ritual that makes anyone you talk to incapable of lying to you.”

Laura scoffed.  “Well, if you want, this one has love potions and rituals to increase libido.” She winked.  “Those seem way more up your alley.”

Carmilla smirked.  “Why would I need those when I have you, cutie?”

Laura blushed and suddenly seemed very intent on the contents of the book in her lap.  Then, her eyebrows furrowed.

“What is it?”

Laura sat in silence, scanning the page over a few more times before speaking.  “I found it,” she finally murmured.

Carmilla walked over and sat down next to Laura. “You found whatever that witch used to take away my memory?”

Laura shook her head.  “No, I found the ritual that requires a vampire to attain immortality,” she clarified.  She grabbed a dry root off a shelf and used it as a bookmark.

The rest of the day was spent going through the rest of the books, with no success of finding anything about taking memories.

 

“I’d say that maybe this coven didn’t believe in that kind of magic,” Laura sighed, “but I found this spell that can induce a coma and can only be broken with true love's kiss, so…”

Carmilla shrugged.  “Maybe the witch took the book with the memory magic with her?”

“Whatever happened to it,” Laura said, rising from the ground, “it’s not here, so we might as well go back to the others and come up with another plan.”

They carefully walked back through the first room. Carmilla was back in the hallway before she realized she was alone.  She went back to find Laura still standing in the room.

The smaller girl bowed her head and whispered, “Rest in peace, guys,” before leaving.  Carmilla followed quietly.

 

Carmilla teleported them back to the apartment. It was in slight disarray, but Laura chalked it up to the fact that their four friends probably stayed over to do research.  Carmilla sat down on the couch while Laura went to her computer, where J.P. was connected.

“ **Laura! Thank goodness!** ” he typed. “ **They’ve been taken!** ”

Laura blinked hard at the screen. “Who’s been taken?”

Carmilla left her seat and walked over to her. “What’s going on?”

“ **Lafontaine, Perry, Danny, Kirsch – everyone!  That witch teleported in and teleported them all out about an hour ago!** ”

“ _WHAT_?!”

Carmilla did her best to place a calming, reassuring hand on Laura’s shoulder.

J.P. was speaking(?) frantically now. “ **She said that it’s reassurance that Carmilla will go to sacrifice herself without putting up a fight by midnight, and that they’re waiting at the pit in the Lustig.  Oh god… I should have done something!** ”

“Like what?” Carmilla scoffed. “Export files at her?”

Laura gave her a half-hearted glare, but lifted a hand to touch the one Carmilla had on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Don’t blame yourself, J.P.,” she said sincerely.

“ **Thanks, Laura,** ” J.P. replied.  “ **But what do we do?** ”

Laura frowned.  _What, indeed?_

 


	11. Take Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla and Laura argue about how to handle their new predicament.

“You’re not going over there to just turn yourself in, you stupid vampire!”  Laura stomped her foot.  They’d been arguing for the past ten minutes.  “We need a plan!”

“We don’t have time for a plan!” Carmilla threw up her arms, exasperated. “We have less than an hour, and we’re _wasting_ _time_.  I’m going.”

Laura grabbed Carmilla’s wrist. “Don’t you dare!” Her eyes welled up. “The last time you encountered her, you lost your memory.  I barely survived losing you with the Blade of Hastur, and without your memory, it was like I lost you again.”  She shook her head. “We _need_ a plan.”

Carmilla’s face softened, but the resolve in her voice remained.  “I’m sorry, but we don’t have any other choice.”

 

Laura sighed and sat down on the couch, tears rolling down her face.  “I can’t lose you,” she whispered.

Her vampire sat down next to her and leaned her head on her shoulder.  “And I won’t let you lose your friends.”

“Since when do you care about my friends?”

“Oh, I don’t,” Carmilla said honestly. “But _you_ care about them, and they’re in danger right now, and it’s my fault, which makes me care.”  She took a deep breath.  “Because I care about you.”

Laura sniffled.  “Wow, you fell for me faster this time than last time.”

Carmilla laughed, and Laura gave a small chuckle. A few moments of silence followed.

 

“Carm, please don’t do this,” Laura whispered. “I can’t let something happen to my friends, but…”

Carmilla sighed and looked like she was about to say something, but changed her mind.  Instead, she leaned forward and softly kissed Laura on the lips. Perhaps out of habit, or out of desperation in their current situation, Laura deepened the kiss, placing one hand on the back of Carmilla’s neck, and resting the other on her lap. Carmilla immediately responded, wrapping one arm around Laura’s waist and the other on her arm.

Laura did not want the moment to end.

It did.

 

Carmilla suddenly jerked back, gasping loudly as a light emitted from her.  The light dimmed a few seconds later, leaving a panting Carmilla, who had her eyes squeezed shut.

“Wow, cupcake, too bad all of our kisses can’t be like that.”  She slowly opened her eyes, and Laura could’ve sworn it was like those eyes looked back like Carmilla hadn’t seen her in years.

“Carm?”

Carmilla smiled at Laura.  She had been smiling more in the past few days than in the first part of the week, but it had still been that insincere, distant smile she used to give Laura early in their relationship.  The smile she wore now was more warm and genuine, and Laura thought her heart could burst.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”  Laura giggled and planted her a light kiss on the lips.  “You’re back!”

“Yeah, I’ve got all my memories back. Not sure how, though.” Carmilla shrugged. 

Laura grinned.  “Maybe it was true love’s––”

Carmilla shot her a look.  “If you finish that phrase, I’m going to throw up.”

“Meanie.”  Laura playfully swatted her and Carmilla chuckled.

The smile slowly faded from Carmilla’s lips. “Thank you for taking care of me, babe.”

Laura eyed the vampire warily. “You’re welcome,” she replied slowly.

Carmilla gave her a soft but long kiss. She reluctantly pulled away, staring longingly and lovingly into her human’s eyes.

 

“Time for me to take care of you.”

With that, Carmilla teleported out of the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the awesome feedback so far!!  
> Next chapter will be up soon! (You'll see why I'm not waiting a full day to post the remaining chapters :P )


	12. Save The Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla shows up at the Lustig to turn herself in to the witch. Can Laura save the day?

Carmilla teleported into the Lustig building, carefully avoiding the pit that the lovely Silas University administration had continued to neglect to fix.  She spotted Laura’s friends tied up by some weird glowing rope and made her way over to them.

“You came,” Danny said, not hiding the surprise in her voice.

Carmilla rolled her eyes, but before she could fire back a response, a sudden light flashed through the room.

“Now you’re all stuck in here until midnight,” a shrill voice echoed.  “Can’t have anyone running off, can I?”

Carmilla turned to face the witch. “Hi, Lilah,” she greeted. “How have you been for the past week?”

Dressed in a slimming black robe, Lilah narrowed her eyes and tilted her head.  “Well, how about that?  You got your memory back.” She shrugged.  “True love’s kiss is a bit of a cliché way to undo a spell, I know. But the coven’s founders were very into the cliché of it all.”

She flitted over to within a couple feet of Carmilla and let out a grating giggle.

 

“To answer your question–– I’ve had quite the busy couple of weeks.”

Lilah counted off her fingers. “First, I followed that friend of yours to Styria.  I lost him, but I found you.  Plus, the site of where the lophiiformes used to dwell made this a great center of magical energy. And then, of course you remember that I captured you, but you escaped, too.  I panicked–– what was I to do?  I couldn’t kill you before the ritual, and the next full moon was a week away. So in my panic, I cast the first spell I could think of, and it was a memory loss spell to stall.”

She shook her head.  “I thought that would be enough, but then you and your human just _had_ to go looking for my coven. So I ran you guys off the road and skewered you with a branch to hold you in place and thought that’d be that until I needed you for this ritual.”  She sighed.  “But I came back and somehow you two had _left_ so I decided to pay my coven a visit before you could, and I killed all of them and took any evidence of the memory spell I cast.  It’s been quite a nuisance to get you, but you’re here now. Everything’s been ready, I just needed the prime ingredient,” she smirked.

Carmilla scoffed.  “I know you’re pretty certifiably crazy, so I don’t know why I’m wasting my breath, but just so you know, immortality isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

Lilah waved her hand dismissively. “Let me ask you something. Why haven’t you tried to, oh say, rip out my throat yet?”

Carmilla couldn’t answer.

“It’s my power.  I’ve always had more of it than a normal witch.  You wouldn’t even entertain the idea of attacking me, because every instinct in your body is telling you not to.”  She sneered.  “Why waste all this power on a mortal life?”

 

Without hesitation, Lilah plunged one hand into Carmilla’s chest and waved the other to summon the ingredients. Her eyes rolled back as she began chanting, speaking in tongues while waves of power poured from her and filled the room until Carmilla thought she might suffocate in it.

Seconds passed by, feeling like years, as Carmilla could feel her own power and life sucked from her.  The world slowly faded away and the air around her felt colder and darker.  Her eyelids began to droop and she grew limp.

 

Everything came rushing back and snapped Carmilla into reality as she looked around, fuzzily attempting to figure out what had happened to the hand in her chest.

She saw Laura–– _Laura?––_ with some kind of blade in her hand, her eyes wide. A bloodied blade.

She heard Lilah screaming in agony and–– _Was her throat slit?_

She felt herself falling as the witch collapsed to the ground.

 

Arms wrapped around her as Laura let go of the dagger and dropped to hold Carmilla.

“What did you do?” Carmilla rasped weakly.

Laura was trying to hold back tears. “A-After you left, J.P. found mentions of rogue, overzealous witches being killed during a ritual, because that’s when they’re vulnerable,” she stammered.  “I was driving here in your car as fast as I could when he sent me the text. And the crazy witch had the dagger just lying around with the ingredients, so I-I thought… well, I didn’t think.” She sniffled.  “It’s just that I already saw I was too late, so I figured I might as well take her down so it’s not like we’ll have a manic witch running around.”

Carmilla managed a chuckle.  “That’s my creampuff, always finding a way to save the day.”

Laura let out something between a sob and a laugh.

By then, all of their friends had gathered to somberly watch from a distance great enough to allow them their privacy.

“You saved everyone from the terrible witch, Laura.” She touched the small girl’s cheek and smiled.

Laura nodded, tears falling. “Yeah, everyone,” she said softly.  “So don’t you dare die on me.”

Carmilla’s eyelids drooped. “I’ve loved you from the moment you said I deserve better.  Both times. Because I never thought I’d deserve to love someone like you.  And because I never thought someone with so much reason to hate me could ever care about me,” she murmured.  “I love you,” she said weakly. Her eyelids closed and she went limp in Laura’s arms.

 

“I love you too,” Laura whispered, burying her face into her shoulder and crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KEEP BREATHING!  
> (I'll update with the final chapter once I get some sleep because I had eight hours of classes today on four hours of sleep)  
> But yeah-- KEEP BREATHING!! AND TRUST ME. All that fluff-building did not go to waste.


	13. Never Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following the events at the Lustig building, Laura and her friends make a discovery that could change everything forever.

“Come on, you idiot,” Laura grumbled quietly. “Wake up, already.”

Carmilla made no movements and there was minimal indication she was alive, which added to Laura’s worry.

Their friends all gathered around Laura, watching her with sympathy.

 

Carmilla suddenly bolted up and stared around her in confusion.  Laura squealed and wrapped her arms around her.  “Oh, thank god,” she sobbed.

Carmilla cautiously hugged the girl back, her eyebrows still furrowed.  Everyone in the room seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.

“Welcome back,” Danny offered with a smile.

“Ain’t nothing can keep Carm-sexy down!” Kirsch hollered.  He pumped his fist for emphasis.

 

Carmilla scanned the room slowly. Laura eventually pulled away.

“Not that I’m unhappy to be waking up here,” Carmilla said, confused.  “But _why_ am I waking up here?”

Laura was beaming at Carmilla. “Well, after you passed out in the Lustig building,” she began excitedly.  “I was crying on top of you.  It wasn’t pretty.  There was, like, tears, and snot, and a lot of hyperventilating––”

“––Hollis…” LaFontaine pressed, raising an eyebrow.

“––and I’m rambling.  Sorry.  But after everyone got me to slow my breathing down, I realized I could hear it.”

“Hear what?”

Laura grinned and grabbed one of Carmilla’s hands and put it on her chest.

Carmilla’s eyes widened.

 

“My heart… it’s beating,” Carmilla gasped quietly. Her heart would beat once or twice, on occasion, either out of vague muscle memory or because of something Laura did.  But in this moment, it maintained a regular rhythm.

Laura nodded enthusiastically. “Laf ran tests and your blood chemistry has changed.”

LaFontaine cleared their throat. “You’re not completely human,” they explained.  “But you’re more human than vampire, now.”

“Welcome to the More Human Than Vampire Club!” Kirsch exclaimed with another fist pump.

“Thanks for offering yourself up for us,” Danny said with a smile.  There was a chorus of agreements from the others.

 

Carmilla still sat there with her mouth open, her hand remaining on her chest.

“We think that because Laura managed to kill the witch in the middle of the ritual, she stopped her from draining all of your life-slash-immortality away,” Perry explained.

Danny nodded.  “It’s the most probable explanation, according to the spell books you guys found.”

“We can try to run more tests and see if we can extrapolate how much more mortal–– or less immortal–– you are now,” LaFontaine commented.  “But from the tests I’ve already run, you’re a lot closer to a human life span than you were before.”

 

Laura kissed Carmilla’s cheek. “I know it’s not ideal, but at least you’re not dead––”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Carmilla interrupted, removing her hand from her chest and grabbing Laura’s hands in hers. “Now you don’t have to worry about turning into a vampire.  And it’s not exactly like I loved being one, anyway.  There was just nothing else for me to be… until now.”

Carmilla pulled Laura into a kiss, one that she never wanted to end until––

“Wow, Carm, your tummy really wants to tell us it’s hungry,” Laura laughed, her lips still pressed against Carmilla’s.

Carmilla frowned down at her growling stomach, as if it betrayed her.  “Hmm.”

“What?”

 “I wonder if I can also survive off sweets and pizza like you do.” Carmilla grinned.

Laura giggled.  “Only one way for us to find out,” she said, rising off the couch.

 

The light caught Laura in a certain way and for a second, it looked like she was glowing, and Carmilla cherished the feeling of her heartbeat quickening at the sight.

It was something she was sure she would never forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thanks to everyone who provided feedback, and thank YOU for reading!! I hope you all enjoyed the ride! :D


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